Building Accountable Communities: A National Gathering

Last weekend, I attended “Building Accountable Communities: A National Gathering.” I had been eagerly counting down the days until April 27th.

As folks arrived, there was an assembly line set up at the registration table. Name tags, markers, stickers with various pronouns, rectangular stickers in three different colors to indicate your preference for meeting new people, staying with the people you came with, or simply not interacting with others at all. This was so thoughtful and I’d like to hold myself accountable for operating in this manner the next time I host an event.

The day was structured around two plenary sessions and two workshop sessions. The first plenary, moderated by Piper Anderson, was on “What is Accountability” and featured panelists Shannon Perez-Darby, Esteban Kelly, RJ Maccani, Mia Mingus, Sonia Shah, and Leah Todd.

There was so much juicy content in this discussion, but here are some of the notes I jotted down…

“Accountability is a radical way of saying I choose you. We are going to hurt each other, but I still choose to be in community with you.”-Sonya Shah 

Some of the ideas were not necessarily new to me, but it was helpful to be reminded of them nonetheless. For example, of the importance of checking in with yourself to ask “are my behaviors and actions aligned with my values? Personally? Professionally?”

And also “am I being accountable to the people with whom I share intimate, immediate space on a daily basis (e.g.—my partner or roommate)? Am I carrying my share of the load? Doing my part to make sure our home/community/organization, etc. can operate in a relatively peaceful and efficient manner?”

Accountability starts at home. The revolution starts at home.

Mia Mingus discussed how child sexual abuse is a strategic site for healing, for transformative justice—as it is one of the first times the most vulnerable members of our communities (children with disabilities, especially) are harmed.

Accountability is both relational and a personal practice 

There is a false binary between the causer of harm and the harmed—we’ve ALL got to be accountable.

“Most of us are in an abusive relationship with ourselves and it sets the groundwork for an abusive world. What if we looked at self care as accountability?” —Mia Mingus

“COMFORT and TRANSFORMATION do not live on the same block.”—also Mia Mingus 

There is no script for restorative justice.

The second plenary touched on “Addressing Harm” and featured panelists: adrienne maree brown (!!!!!!), Shira Hassan, Mimi Kim, Priya Rai, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna Samarasinha, Amita Swadhin, and was moderated by Ejeris Dixon.

I managed to capture a few strings of words from adrienne maree brown’s incredible speech that somehow had me feeling grounded *and* like I was floating in the stars simultaneously—on addressing harm, but I was so happy to see it posted—in its entirety—on AMB’s website. Here it is: 

“Harm is an external wound to your wholeness. More than a bump, an accident.

Harm is what convinces us that in this abundant world, we only deserve to survive. Convinces us that material and emotional scarcity is our lot.

My work is very much about returning people to the truth of miraculous abundance. I’m bleeding as I write this – a reminder that miracles are messy, that I am alive and not in charge. Life is a bloody, magical, messy, beautiful gift.

I play with scale – instead of impossibly wide, go satisfyingly deep. Instead of focusing on the whole, getting stagnant in your insignificance, get close in, get dirty. Operate at your OWN scale. and MAYBE grow. If everyone was practicing transformative justice in their own lives, we’d have enough.
The natural world gives us some clues: abundance is healthy. It’s normal to have plenty. But! And! Plenty is relative!

Each species is programmed for the precise amount of sunlight it needs, and how to swallow light. How do we balance between the rich fertility and terror of darkness, the abundant life and dangerous fire of light?


Divergence and balance.

And emergence. The complex systems and patterns we long for – the justice and accountability that allows for our whole humanity – it all comes from, is built from, relatively simple interactions.

Calling Black liberation workers into support. Sitting at a kitchen table. Drinking tea. That’s where I invite people into accountability. Not to be friends, not to share joy, not even to be comrades necessarily – but accountable. Accountable to something larger than ourselves.

And nature says: enjoy this. We’ve been given bodies so brilliant that some of us have even reclaimed the pleasure of the whip! in just a few generations. We long to feel satisfied and content. Belonging and dignity.

We are born into another’s hands, we are a species meant to hold and be held. We live on an orgasmic planet, fecund and perfect.

But! can we see ourselves home again after all this harm?

My work is to remind us to imagine, to remind us that we are responsible for shaping the future. And to point us down and all around at our teacher-parent-planet. And to remind us not to sleep through the sensational experience of being alive, the heaven here on earth, the blessing of having a body – an individual and collective body – that can recover, can learn, can remember to love.

Visionary fiction.

Emergent strategy.

Pleasure activism.

Transformative breakups.

Kitchen table mediation.

Boundaries are better than disposal.

Abundant justice.


That is all the miracle I know.”

-adrienne maree brown

Wow, wow, wow!

I’m going to meditate on this some more…

Every session offered on this day seemed dynamic, exceedingly important. Alas, I had to choose only one at a time…

Ultimately, I went with adrienne’s workshop on “mediation tools” for Block I and “Anxious as F*ck and Trying to Make the Rev: Disability Is Everywhere in Transformative Justice/ Centering Anti Ableism and Rich Disabled and Mad Wisdom in TJ Work” by the brilliant Leah Lakshmi Piepzna Samarasinha for Block II.

I’m still processing what I learned during these sessions and what feelings and ideas these conversations stirred up in me. I can’t wait to share some of my thoughts with you once I do.

Finally, forgive me for fangirling, for participating in the utterly toxic celebrity culture that exists in justice communities, but…I met adrienne maree brown AND she signed my copy of her new book Pleasure Activism.

The day was magical, difficult, thought-provoking, and affirming.

Thank you to the organizers of this incredible gathering!

May we build accountable communities, together.

In Solidarity,


Gettin' My Teach on in Toronto

Canadian Association of Montessori Teachers - 2018 Annual Conference


As the eleventh month of the year has recently come to an end, I’m reflecting on all of the full, rich experiences I had. 

It began on Thursday, November 1st with a flight to a rainy, chilly Toronto to attend the Canadian Association of Montessori Teachers (CAMT) 2018 Annual Conference titled “Modern Montessori: Adaptation to Our Time and Place." 

I felt deeply honored to have been invited to present on Social Justice and Peace Education at this event and was excited to make it to Canada at long last.

The conference was held at the impossibly beautiful Old Mill Toronto Hotel.  It commenced early in the morning with breakfast and registration. The event consisted of a keynote presentation, two sets of breakout sessions, lunch in the ballroom, a large room full of vendors with educational products, then concluded with tea.

On a random note: one day conferences are my new favorite thing. 

Seriously, though, I was able to become a little more informed and inspired during this day-long event. I still had an opportunity to network with several lovely, like-minded people. All without feeling utterly exhausted by the end of it.

Americans often like to think about our neighbors to the north as gentle, progressives who are far more socially advanced than we are. However, while facilitating this workshop, I confirmed my sneaking suspicion that Canada is not fundamentally different than the United States of America. It, too, was built upon the land of Indigenous people and is a deeply inequitable society. The world, in its entirety, has so much healing and unlearning to do. Canada is not exempt. None of us are. We were all socialized in this same system.

Fifty people came to my session, which took place in the elegant Victoria Room. The energy of our ninety minutes together was dynamic and refreshing. I was relieved to find that attendees were so lively and engaged. 

Razan Abdin-Adnani CW.jpg

Dissecting Privilege 

“Who has the most privilege in our society?” I asked.

Participants took a few minutes and then ardently chimed in. 

“Men!”  “White people!” “Straight people!” “Cis-gender people!”  “Able-bodied people!”

We passionately unpacked the often-uncomfortable conversation about privilege, acknowledging that this is necessary for a nuanced discussion about social justice.

After all, we are not engaged in equity work if we’re not addressing privilege and power.

Note: we don’t have to feel guilty about having privilege. In fact, privilege (and power!) can be a tool for social change if it’s used to advocate for the dignity and inalienable rights of marginalized people.

Books! Books! And More Books! 

I know I say it over and over again, but books are such a fantastic resource for facilitating discussions around differences and social justice issues with your students.

As much as possible, our libraries should include books with racially and culturally diverse characters—not only heroes of color, but also people of color living their everyday lives. In addition to racial, ethnic, and linguistic diversity, choose books that represent people with varying abilities, from different socioeconomic classes and family structures. There are also a number of new books that represent gender diversity.

Throughout my presentation, I suggested several books. Many educators in the audience shared their recommendations as well!

Some books from our collectively generated list are:

For excellent book lists for children (from toddler to upper elementary), visit:

First Time’s a Charm!

The people of Canada seemed kind, generous, and welcoming. Every single thing I ate in Toronto was fantastic. The coffee was delicious (Shout out to Hot Black Coffee for making some mean espresso drinks)! The city itself was green (actually, it was more like warm reds and yellows and oranges because #Autumn). Diverse. A captivating mix of old and new. I absolutely loved Toronto and hope to visit again someday.

I feel so grateful.

Finally, if you’re a Montessori educator in Canada, I highly recommend checking out this organization and their annual conference: Canadian Association of Montessori Teachers.

A few photos I took on my (old) iPhone from the conference and the city of Toronto:

Transformative Teacher Series: Interview with Saira Siddiqui of Confessions of a Muslim Mom

Meet Saira:

 Muslim, Momma, Storyteller, Unschooler, Currently Pursuing a Doctorate in Social Justice Education

Interview by Razan Abdin-Adnani


Razan Abdin-Adnani: "Hi there, Saira! Can you please start off by introducing yourself, thinking about your own multi-layered identities? How did these identities affect the lens through which you view/experience the world?"

Saira Siddiqui: "I identify with being American, Asian, Muslim, Female, and differently abled.

This question is so loaded for me and I actually want to write an entire book addressing just this alone! I struggle immensely with my identity growing up as the lone non-white child in almost every single one of my classes. I had no mirrors, in text or reality, and mirrors are what allow you to see yourself and form your sense of identity. So it was hard, to say the least, trying to figure who or what I was when I had no images to hold on to or relate to.

That being said, it was my assumed foreignness, along with being differently abled, that made my childhood one of an ‘outsider looking in’. I became incredibly self reflective and analytic. I experienced increasing hearing loss through my childhood (though I didn’t get hearing aids prescribed until well into my freshman year of college) so I spent a tremendous amount of time studying PEOPLE, their facial expressions, their manners, so that I could ‘read between the lines’ of the speech I was missing. I may have grown up with gaps in the self acceptance department, but I grew super powers to compensate.

Also, as a product of Indian/Pakistani immigrants, I recognize now, in adulthood, that much of my self-hate was rooted in post-colonial mindset. I despised all that made me different and felt it was inferior. These are issues I’m still trying to work through, even as an adult."

RAA: "At what point did you realize you wanted to study social justice education?"

SS: "I have always been a student of social justice education, though I didn’t realize it. My entire existence was contingent on being a member of several marginalized communities.

Technically, it wasn’t until I met a professor in college that everything clicked. Honestly, it was the first time I’d had any experience with a teacher or professor (and a white male one at that!) who got me. Who understand and validated my unique thinking. And who gave me the pieces to understand that it wasn’t just me.

I had been a very organic student up until that point. Conscious of imbalance and injustice, but in an extremely personal way. He was the first one who exposed me to the field. Years later, when I’d contemplated going back to start my doctorate, I met with him again, and he was the one who pushed me to study the field. I was ‘one of them’, so to speak. I didn’t know what I would do with the degree, or how it would translate into a real life application. I just knew, these are my people, and this is what I NEED to study."

RAA: "What is the purpose or function of education in society?"

SS: "I think education is the path to freedom. Of the mind and body. Plain and simple. In order to have a free and just society, we need education."

RAA: "How/why did you ultimately make the decision to 'unschool' your own children? Also, can you define 'unschooling,' as you see it?"

SS: "Unschooling is a controversial word with different meanings according to who you talk to. For me, it is simply about giving respect to self direction. I didn’t choose to unschool, I choose to seek a path of education for my children, one in which their natural curiosity was not only respected, but encouraged and developed. I sought a path where children’s natural desire to learn and understand the world around them was not inhibited. I sought a path where their strengths would grow, where they would be mindful of them, and where those strengths could be used to improve upon their weaknesses. And honestly, I sought a path that we could all enjoy, that would allow us, as a family, to grow and improve and live all of our best selves. I don’t believe I ever made the conscious decision to start unschooling. I think I simply rejected anything else that didn’t meet our expectations."

RAA: "If you could offer only one piece of advice to other parents/educators about raising race conscious, anti-bias children, what would it be?"

SS: "Work on yourself. Read, educate your mind. Learn as much as you can about everything. Reflect on your own practice. We think this is about them, but the key to them is you."

RAA: "How can Muslims address the biases and racism that exist in our own communities?"

SS: "I cannot stress this enough—we, as a community, are drowning in post-colonial mentality. We MUST actively and consciously work to remove the oppressors mentality from our minds. It is they who taught to divide ourselves, which inevitably forces some to rise and others to fall. It is they who taught us to have a deep self-loathing and hatred for ourselves and what makes us different from them.

It’s so strange, isn’t it? That something so vehemently against our faith is so commonly found within our hearts? That’s the power of the oppressor. That’s the power of propaganda.

As a community, we need to define ourselves by ourselves, not in reaction to other things, like Islamophobia. As long as we stay on the defensive, or as the oppressed, we’ll never rise above the definition of ourselves others have given us."

RAA: "How can we find/support your work?"

SS: "You can support my Patreon account! I’ve just created an account and am hoping to do a lot of innovative things in that space to help folks develop their critical thinking skills.

You can also follow me on Instagram or Facebook. I’m working on several virtual courses and my social media platforms are the best places to keep updated on all of that."

Find Saira on...





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Blue, Blue Heart (Guest Post by Susan Shea of Phonetic Planet)

My relationship with the Montessori philosophy continues through a new project, Phonetic Planet, which seeks to promote early literacy through engagement with nature. You can find out more about that on our website . A portion of our profits is dedicated to literacy-based projects around the world.

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